- Respect your elders, let them eat first. If you don’t they are very likely to bite your face or kick your ass.
- I will not eat anything that is moldy. If you offer moldy things for me to eat, I will hack and cough and wobble and collapse until you understand that I don’t like moldy food.
- I refuse to poop while I’m walking. On a good day, you might get me to pee and walk, but I insist on taking a break when I need to poop.
- If something is in your nose, blow it out. If this offends someone they shouldn’t stand so close.
- Sometimes I don’t want to comb my hair. I am perfectly fine with cutting the knots out later.
- If no one wants to play with you, just keep running in circles around them until they can’t resist. Eventually they will chase you just to make you go away.
- If you are scared of the dog, run and hide behind someone who isn’t. They will chase him away or stomp him into the dirt for you.
- If you find yourself on an upward climb, you should run to the top. No sense wasting time.
- Sometimes the person offering you a bucket of goodies is actually fooling you into a trap and there are no goodies at all. That sucks, so don’t let it happen twice.
- When you come to see me, you should always bring a treat.