Merry Christmas Concert

Merry Christmas!

I went to my nephews’ Christmas concert this week. Oh my gawd those kids are all so cute. There’s nothing quite like a Christmas concert to bring out those nostalgic memories of getting your hair tugged into place, wearing an itchy dress and pinchy shoes, smiling when you really want to barf, or my personal favorite – being in grade 5 and having to skip across the stage, but you are the only little girl too uncoordinated to have learned the fine art of skipping, and being a good 2 or 3 feet taller than everyone else, you look like a adolescent giraffe who has recently recovered some kind of serious leg injury galloping across the Serengeti…..not that this happened to me of course, it’s just an example of something that probably happened to Kelly.

All of the kids fulfilled their job of entertaining the crowd who had gathered. Some more than others. You can always count on the typical nose pickers and bum scratchers to be there to get a good laugh. Not at their expense exactly because they are too little to be aware of the 300 or so people who are watching them in the blindness of those lights they have to stare into for their 2 to 3 minutes on stage. Those beautiful little guys and gals are always there, every year to make us laugh inappropriately when they are singing their cute little Christmas carols. Later they likely grow into the kid who has forgotten to change the reed in their instrument at the band concert, so they squeak and belch their way through the three songs they are given to play with no one really knowing who it was, but once again allowing for comedic relief to an otherwise serious event.

My personal favorites this year were the boys from grade two who were trying to shade their eyes and yelling at each other ‘where’s my mom?’ ‘Do you see my mom?’ Not to be outdone by the little girl in the front row pulling her itchy little dress up up up and away from her legs to get a bit of relief from the itchiness. Apparently the itch must have lived in the bottom hem of her little dress, and it was way more comfortable to have that hem lifted safely up around her bellybutton. Precious. I hope her mom had the video camera rolling for that one. That’s good graduation video right there! If there are any elementary school teachers reading this, please for the love of gawd give those little girls in the front row something to do with their hands. Have them all clapping through the song, or holding hands, or jingling some bells or something……or not, it’s funnier that way.

My nephews go to a Catholic school. So did my sister and me. Oh here come more of those flashbacks, but I won’t write of them here for fear of being misunderstood and having to do 10 Hail Marys while kneeling on a ruler at the back of the church. Not that this ever happened to me, just an example of what could have happened if I was unruly say like maybe in grade 8. I’ve always loved the Hail Mary prayer. Now that I’m protestant we don’t say it, but sometimes, in secret, I still do just to feel really wild. I’m crazy like that.

Anyhow, being a Catholic school Christmas concert means that you don’t have to worry about the political correctness of not mentioning Jesus at Christmas time. There were plenty of positive messages that we were able to take home, and it was a great way to focus in on the true meaning of Christmas. After the concert we hung around to tell the boys how marvelous they were. I was a very proud Auntie.

My daughter and I were filled with the Christmas spirit as we trudged to our very cold car, started it, and waited the obligatory 4 to 5 seconds for it to warm up. Pulling up to the edge of the parking lot there is a place to merge into the traffic that is leaving. You know, taking turns. One would think that this wouldn’t be a hard concept, especially for a bunch of Catholic school goers who are leaving their child’s Christmas concert where we just learned of love, sharing, Jesus???? Merry Christmas for goodness sake?!
Nope, one by one they rushed by, trying not to make eye contact with the one lonely car sitting waiting to be allowed in, just trying to look cute and nice and……what the hell?!? Maybe they were at a different Christmas concert than me. Maybe they missed the message. Wait…..what if I missed the message. Maybe it wasn’t about love and sharing at all, and with my so far undiagnosed hearing disorder combined with my attention deficit, maybe I daydreamed that part. Maybe the message was get out there and take what you can while you can! So I slowly crept out and jammed myself into that long snake of headlights, and we made it home before Easter. My daughter was embarrassed and probably will want to drive with Grandma to the next concert, but that’s OK. I think Grandma was one of the ones who passed us, so she will probably get home earlier if she goes with her anyways. Maybe we should all hop in with Grandma. She’s still Catholic, so she gets those special driving privileges where you don’t have to let anyone in line.

This blog could get me into trouble. Where’s my ruler. ‘Hail Mary full of grace the Lord is with thee……..’



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